


I Never Really Cared Until I Met You

by haemophilus



Series: [secondary characters] [7]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Character, Misogyny, Rare Pairings, The D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Vignette, compulsory heterosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 00:32:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12737442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemophilus/pseuds/haemophilus
Summary: The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is the nail in the coffin for Caylee's desire to date men.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SO ANYWAYS I started doing a lot of thinking and my brain was like 'What about the women that Dennis messes with? What are their lives after he messes with them?' Then I was like 'It would be cute if Caylee and Jackie dated.' So here we are: however-many thousand words of my totally-not-OC coping with the aftermath of Dennis Reynolds and figuring out she is a lesbian. 
> 
> Content warning for Dennis Reynolds being fucking terrible. Title from Alone by Heart.
> 
> I was going to post this as a whole fic but once it got over 1000 words I couldn't bring myself to not post it in parts.

It took Caylee fifteen minutes of walking up and down South 13th street before she realized that she was in the wrong place. She checked the GPS on her phone, and realized she was a block away from where she needed to be. Goddammit, this bookstore was in a weird spot. Caylee checked her phone for the time as she waited to cross the street, nestled in the center of a sea of people going who-knows-where. 5:30 - she was late.

The light turned green, and she moved with the crowd. Nobody looked very gay - but then, neither did she. At least, nobody had ever told her so. Her stomach rolled as she hit pavement again. The crowd dispersed; nothing was pushing her towards her destination now. She looked left and right down 12th street, and sighed. It wasn’t too late to turn back. 

Caylee shook her head to clear it of doubts. No. She was going to this thing, dammit. 32 was already far too old to figure out she was a lesbian. It was high time she acted like one.

Her sensible heels click-clacked against the sidewalk. She side-stepped cracks as she glanced at building numbers - 341. . .343. . .345! Caylee walked around the brick building until she found the door. She walked up the stairs to get inside, and was greeted by a warm, yellow room filled with books. The cashier - short hair, crystal around her neck - was reading an unfamiliar book called  _ The Female Eunuch.  _ Caylee rubbed her arm, self-conscious. The feminist book she’d brought was one she read in college -  _ Feminism is for Everybody.  _ Maybe that was too basic -

“Can I help you?” said the cashier, looking up from her book.

“I’m looking for the, um. . .” she couldn’t bring herself to say - “. . .the book group.”

The cashier pointed upstairs. “In the reading room.”

Caylee nodded, rounded the corner, and headed upstairs.

*

_ Caylee was auditing pills when someone rang the bell on the counter. She turned around and saw a man around her age - sandy hair, blue eyes, mild smile. She walked over to him, and put her notepad down. _

_ “How can I help you?” she said.  _

_ “This is for my grandmother. She’s quite ill,” he said as he handed her a prescription - typical anti-nausea script. The man’s cologne wafted over the counter, musky and pleasant. Caylee smiled at him. _

_ “I’ll take care of her,” she said. _

_ She fiddled with the computer, and typed in a few passwords before she got the right one. Normally she had a couple of pharm techs on hand, but the girl on second-shift left sick today and nobody volunteered to cover for her. When she finally got into the system - shit. It wasn’t taking the script. _

_ “We don’t have this prescription on file, sir,” said Caylee, handing it back to him. The man took back the script, and frowned on it. _

_ “That’s strange,” he said. Then he looked up, and smiled at her. “Doctor must have sent the message to Rite Aid instead. She was trying to make this her pharmacy, but he just didn’t listen.” _

_ Caylee nodded. “That sort of thing happens all the time, unfortunately.” _

_ The man pocketed the prescription. “Too bad. You’re a lot nicer than the pharmacist at Rite Aid.” He held out his hand for a shake. “It’s Dennis, by the way.” _

_ She shook it; his fingers were long and cold. Unusually poor circulation for someone his age. _

_ “Caylee.” _


	2. Chapter 2

The women in the reading room were mingling, sitting or standing as they made small talk. Caylee breathed a sigh of relief - the meeting was informal. She walked over to the table of cookies and coffee in the corner. The cookies were sugar, and shaped like snowflakes and snowmen. She poured herself a cup of coffee, grabbed a snowflake cookie, and looked around the room at all of the women - supposedly, her people. 

Many of the women looked like real lesbians - short hair, unshaven armpits, and tough looks on their faces. However, she was surprised to see how many of the women were feminine. Some of them were modest, like her, and others were made up with contoured cheeks, tight shirts, and short skirts. Most of the feminine women were barefoot. Their heels were nestled by a bookshelf full of gay romance novels. Caylee took a bite of her cookie. Thankfully, it was soft, so it produced few crumbs.

One woman exited the crowd, and headed towards the table and oh -  _ oh.  _

Tight shirt, thin waist, straight back, swishy hair, glowing skin - Jackie Denardo of the Channel 5 news weather team. Caylee’s 6 AM companion for the past three years. She raised her coffee to her lips, attempting to appear composed. Jackie smiled at her as she walked over. Oh  _ God _ .  

“Hey,” said Jackie. She refilled her cup of coffee. “You new?”

Caylee nodded, trying to not look like a nervous teenager. People were always telling her she looked young for her age.

“Yeah. You?” she said.

Jackie leaned against the table. “Might as well be. It’s been ages since I’ve been here.” 

Caylee took another sip of coffee, and searched around in her mind for something to say. Maybe best to start with names.

“I’m Caylee,” she said.

“Jackie,” the woman replied.

Because she was a grown goddamn woman, and far too old to fall over her feet talking to someone on tv, Caylee resisted the urge to say,  _ I know. _

*

_ Caylee wasn’t typically the kind of girl who went home with men on the first date. But hey, she was 31, she was sex-positive, and it had been a long time since someone had asked her out. He hadn’t bothered to put the movie in the DVD player, unable to look away from her face, her body. Warmth bloomed inside Caylee’s chest every time their eyes met. Sleeping with a guy who looked at her like that seemed like an okay way to spend an evening. _

_ He was on top of her now, red and sweaty, eyes fixated on her chest. His dick chafed inside her - like all the other guys she slept with, he hadn’t bothered to make sure she was wet. She moaned in fake arousal; he increased the speed of his thrusts. Dennis’s breath slowed down and then halted as he climaxed. She shut her eyes, and faked an orgasm. _

_ After, he sat up in bed, smoking a cigarette. His eyes roved over her body as she put her clothes back on. She took her time, reveling in the attention.  _

_ “That was good,” he said gesturing first at himself, and then at her. “We’re good together.” _

_ Dennis stubbed out his cigarette on an ashtray that rested on his side table. He put his hands behind his head.  _

_ “Yeah, I had fun,” said Caylee. She pulled her sheer top over her head. It stuck to her sweaty arms. _

_ “We should go out again tomorrow,” said Dennis, grinning. _

_ Caylee considered the proposition for a minute. She wasn’t looking for anything serious, but a casual boyfriend could be nice. Mom would stop bothering her every five minutes about settling down. Her friends would be excited that she finally had a boyfriend to gossip about. Then there was the way he looked at her, like she was the sexiest girl he’d ever seen. . .she could hang a relationship on that for at least a couple of months. _

_ “Sounds good,” said Caylee. She looked out his window; it was pitch black. “Could you walk me home? I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” _

_ “Oh! Yeah. Lemme just get on my clothes,” said Dennis as he got out of bed. He grabbed the pile of his clothes off the floor. _

_ “Thanks,” said Caylee. “It’s just. . .there’s all sorts of creeps at night and -” _

_ Dennis shook his head as he zipped his pants. _

_ “I get it, babe. It’s scary being a woman in this world. Nice guys who try to take advantage of pretty girls like you.” His fingers were deft as he buttoned up his shirt. _

_ “I didn’t worry so much when I grew up in the suburbs, but the city is way different,” said Caylee. Dennis swung his arm around her.  _

_ “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of you. You’re in good hands,” said Dennis. He smiled, eyes crinkling, and squeezed Caylee closer to him.  _

_ “Okay,” said Caylee, smiling back. “I trust you.” _


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry that I haven't updated this in a while! Think I will write a little more this week. For now, this bit of it has been sitting in my folder. 
> 
> Feel like I've been betraying my Principles by writing so much MacDennis lately. I'll get back to writing weirdo shit soon.

It wasn’t until halfway through their coffee date that Caylee hesitantly asked, “How did you know?”

Jackie lowered her coffee from her lips, a grin on her face. 

“You really are new,” she said. Caylee’s blood ran cold - she must have committed some lesbian faux pas. Dammit, dammit,  _ dammit. _

“Sorry, is that question offensive? I don’t really know -”

Jackie shook her head. “No! No, don’t worry. That question is pretty much required first date material.”

“Really? Oh, thank God,” said Caylee.

“Yes,” said Jackie. “It’s just funny because of the way you asked. I haven’t been on a date with a first-timer in a while.”

“How am I doing?” fell out of Caylee’s mouth, painfully earnest. She took a sip of her coffee to cover up her embarrassment.

“You’re doing great,” said Jackie in a smooth, reassuring voice. 

“Thanks,” said Caylee. Her ears were hot.  _ God _ , if she had known a late-stage sexual awakening would mean re-doing puberty, she would have listened to the nagging questions in her head fifteen years ago.

“No problem,” said Jackie, smiling wider. “And to answer your question: I had really bad taste in men growing up, and when I was 21 I started asking myself why. Tried dating women instead and. . .here we are.”

She took a sip of her coffee, looking Caylee right in the eyes as if to say  _ I showed you mine. _

“I had bad taste in men too,” said Caylee. She wrapped both hands around her cup, squeezing it for comfort and warmth. Jackie wasn’t the first to hear this story, but it was still a hard one to tell. “The last straw was this one guy who was just the worst. . .”


End file.
